Everyday Happenings

To the boy who couldn’t love me (and probably isn’t read this):

I’m sorry for what we have become. The heartbreak and the hateful words and silence were never a part of the plan. I never wanted any of this for either of us. All I want is for you to be happy, and if your happiness is found in someone else, then I want you to have that person. I see now that you’re just not ready to settle down and be with me. And that’s okay. I can’t make you love me with the same exuberance as I love you. You’re young, and attractive, and funny, and smart, and charming, and you still have so many options to choose from, but I can’t be just an option. I need to be the only one. And as petty as you think it is or society thinks it is, I need labels. I get that labels aren’t cool, but listen, I never claimed to be cool. As uncool as I may be, I love equally as deeply, I need someone who isn’t afraid to love me the same way. And I get that you’re just not ready for it, but I can’t change who I am. And you can’t change who you are, and where you are in life. And I’m sorry for thinking that I could force that on you. Your feelings do matter. But I can’t be what you need in this season of your life, and I’m sorry.

Mostly I’m sorry that we’ll never get to live the life I’ve imagined for us. I’m sorry we won’t fly our families to Catalina one day to watch us celebrate our love for one another. And I’m sorry that we’ll never get that farm in Austin that we talked about, and that we’ll never have to struggle to figure out how you, and me, and Clark will all fit in one bed comfortably (because believe me, it was going to be a challenge), and that we won’t sit on our porch swing when we’re old and wrinkling drinking lemonade together. I’m sorry that we’ll never get to see the actualization of one another’s dreams. I just hope that one day we’ll reach the point of where I can still watch from a distance. Because when you figure it out, and to capture your potential in everything, you’ll have a beautiful life, and it will be worth beholding.

It’s just that sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. No matter how hard you try to force it. And boy, did we try to force it. I still don’t get it, I guess, why things like this happen. I can’t fathom for the life of me why a God who loves me more than anything would allow me to fall so desperately in love with someone I’m not supposed to spend my days growing old with. I’m sure many of you will have your explanations, but they will fall on deaf ears. I’ll never get it. Sure, I’ll hear you when you say “it will help you grow” and, “God’s just molding you so that when your prince charming comes along you’ll be ready” and I’ll nod and agree, but in my heart I won’t understand. Couldn’t I have been molded by some other force other than earth-shattering heartbreak?

My friends will all think this boy is the only person to blame for the situation. And I will love them for it, but they will be wrong. It’s also my fault. Behavior is cultivated. And what you allow is what will continue. And I allowed a lot. I allowed it because I was desperately in love (as I still am) and I thought being easy-going, letting him do what he wanted and make all the calls in the relationship would make him love me more (I don’t think it did). And because I have this idea in my head of who I don’t want to be. I never wanted to be that girl, the one who people refer to as “ball and chain.” The girl who is so needy that she become a joke to people. I wanted to be the lovable one, and I thought allowing an excess of things to go on would make me that girl, and that he would love me for it. I don’t think it did, I think it taught him to take me for granted. Maybe if I had asserted my needs a little earlier we wouldn’t be where we are now. Maybe we would be happy. Or maybe we would have found out long before now that we really weren’t meant for each other and we could have just been actual friends. And maybe I wouldn’t be miserable right now.

Many people will write-off our relationship because it was never an “official” relationship. They’ll say things like “well, you guys were never actually together so…” and those are the people who will hurt me the most. Because it doesn’t have to be official for it to hurt. He didn’t have change his Facebook status for it be real. Because my love was real. My tears are still very real. It was all real to me, because I had already committed to it. And by you taking that away from me, and invalidating it, it amplifies my pain. Because that means I just making a big deal out of nothing and I should just grow up. And thoughts like that won’t help me heal.

You know, and maybe it wasn’t as real for him, but even that kind of knowledge doesn’t make it any easier for me. In fact, I think it makes it harder. The realization that he might have never loved me hurts worse that thinking that he just fell out of love with me. To think that it was just a game for him to get what he wanted and then leave is even worse. And I try to not let my mind wander that way, but it happens. Because I’m cynical. I’ve spent the last 10 years thinking that I’m unlovable, because while all my friends are getting married and finding love and happiness, I’m not. Up until very recently I’ve never even been close. There’s never been anyone in my life who I’ve thought “yeah, I can spend forever with this person.” Until now. But what’s worse than not having anyone is fooling yourself into thinking you have someone, or having them in flashes and then nothing at all. I can tell you from experience, that is worse. People always say “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all,” and those people are wrong.

I’ll spend the next several months trying to piece myself back together. And it will be hard. “Months” is a very optimistic way to look at it, it will likely be longer. Because I’ve spent the last two years forming this other version of myself. This pseudo-Misty who’s life was entangled with someone else. Because that is what you do when you’re in love. So now I have to disentangle myself and fill in the holes where he used to be.

Friends, please love me anyway. I’m just trying to find my joy again. Bare with me as I bail on your plans, and when I fake laugh at your jokes, and as I post a plethora of Taylor Swift lyrics to my social media accounts (can’t help it, girl just speaks to me), because eventually I’ll be the me you remember, or I’ll be a better version of her.

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The Moment I Knew

So recently I have been “talking” to this boy (who will remain nameless for his own protection). Which, in and of itself is a problem (for obvious reasons..I mean, I am 25-years-old). Mostly because when I say recently, I mean off and on for like a year. It’s not that I am 100% against “talking,” but when you can’t nail something down in a YEARS time, I think it’s time to move on. Be friends, don’t be friends, but definitely stop “talking.” Because prolonged “talking” is the hardest part of a relationship. “Talking” is when we are more concerned with who has the upper hand than actually attempting to fall in love. “Talking” causes more insecurities than are already present in everything but the most committed of relationships. “Talking” is the worst.

So please, take my advice.worth

You are worth more. I’m not just talking to girls here. Guys, you are worth more. Each of us, God-made human beings are worth more than “talking.” You are worth spending time with. You are worth phone calls. You are worth the most inconsequential of text messages, or Snapchats. You are worth reassuring. You are worth commitment. You are worth being made a priority. You are worth showing off, and meeting their friends and their family. You are worth bike rides, and road trips. You are worth day trips to the zoo, and museums. You are worth homemade dinners, and nights watching Netflix. You are worth so much more than you realize, and if the person you’re “talking” to doesn’t realize that, that is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault, but that doesn’t make it okay.

It will be hard, but you have to re-evaluate.

I tried every way in the world to convince someone that I was worth it, but you should never have to convince someone of your worth. And the moment I realized he wasn’t getting it, I made this play list. (Sorry for the Debbie-Dower post, but I had to make a public declaration, or I will fall into the same old cycle.)

1. The Moment I Knew — Taylor Swift  Red

“What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show?”

2. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye — John Mayer  Battle Studies

“I love you more than songs can say, but I can’t keep running after yesterday.”

3. One Too Many — Bryan Greenberg  We Don’t Have Forever

“Ok, I’m here. I’m ready to talk. Sacred to hear my own voice. Try to listen to my broken heart. Drown out the noise.”

4. Forever and Almost Always — Kate Voegele  A Fine Mess

“You’ll be mine forever and almost always. It ain’t right to just love me when you can. I won’t wait patiently or wake up everyday just hoping that you’ll still care.”

5. The Hardest Part — Coldplay  X & Y

“And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart.”

6. World of Chances — Demi Lovato  Here We Go Again

“Maybe you’ll call me someday. Hear the operator say the number’s no good, and that she had a world of chances for you.”

7. Sooner Than Later — Drake  So Far Gone

“I forgot to call to you on your birthday. You swear you’re the last thing on my mind. There is nothing I can do to fix it,  all you ever asked me for was time.”

8. My Myself and I — Hanson  Shout It Out

“I’m not gonna try to forget. Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end?”

9. Hurricane — Parachute  Overnight

“Oh I knew, that even if I kept you in the dark it would never do, because it only takes a spark.”

10. White Horse — Taylor Swift  Fearless

“I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.”

11. It’s Beginning To Get To Me — Snow Patrol  Eyes Open

“And it’s beginning to get to me, that I know more of the stars and sea, than I do of what’s in your head.”

12. Beg You To Fall — Kate Voegele Gravity Happens

“And I don’t wanna stand here and beg you to fall. ‘Cause one day you’ll see, I was worth it all.”

13. Kept — Matt Nathanson  Modern Love

“And I should have kept my hands; I should have kept my arms inside. I believe it now. I should have kept my head. I should have kept my heart, my heart.”

14. I Almost Do — Taylor Swift  Red

“And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do.”

15. Make You Feel My Love — Adele  19

“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, 

I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”

Listen to the playlist here.

Categories: Everyday Happenings, Playlists | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ohana means family

If you had told me two years ago that I would be happily working at a fire department in Midwest Missouri, I would have scoffed at you. And probably denounced our friendship. Why would I want to work for a Fire Department? I don’t want to put out fires.

Two years ago I was in Burbank, California. Living in a very cozy (read: tiny) apartment with a stranger that I found on Craigslist, and her two cats; working (though I’m not sure it could really be classified as anything more than slave labor) on the iconic Sunset Blvd in a small office building belonging to a small music publishing company who paid me sporadically (if I was lucky enough to get paid at all); eating ramen noodles and pb&j daily; and sleeping on a twin-sized air mattress— you could say I was living the dream!

California taught me a lot of things. It taught me how to do laundry, it taught me the basics of freeway driving (also known as a traffic jam), but most importantly, it revealed to me my basic desire for camaraderie. In California, I was lonely. That’s not to say I didn’t have friends, because I did. I had friends who were very good to me. But I just didn’t have that warm fuzzy feeling of camaraderie.

In October of 2012 I abandoned the life in California I was so sure I wanted in favor of moving back to the midwest. Beginning in January of 2013, I started working for my local, municipal government. To pay the bills (and to feed my giant puppy-love). As soon as I started in city hall, I was instantly drawn to the Fire Department.

Because everyone is drawn to good people. And everyone wants to belong. (And newsflash: Fire Departments basically run on camaraderie.)

I’ve met a lot of good people while working for our small, combination department, and my selfish heart is astonished to see the kind of people that walk through these doors. These are good, honest people with servant hearts. I hear a lot of people talking about how a each certain profession is the most self-sacrificing, but unless these people are firefighters, they are lying to you.

Whether they are reserve or career, firefighters are hands down the most self-sacrificing profession out there. And you would have no idea unless you are one, love one, or know one. And if you fall into one of the before mentioned categories, you’ve probably felt the ramifications of their sacrificing nature. Missed birthdays and holidays. Missed dinners and nights at home. Missed vacations. All in the name of public service. But, in my experience, I’ve found it’s hard to stay mad at someone over doing something so selfless.

Over my past year of working at the fire department I’ve learned a lot. I learned that the whole field is just a bunch of alphabet soup. And at this point, I know more acronyms than I care to admit (and I pretend to know more acronyms than I will ever admit).  I learned this importance of accuracy in all things. And, among the other, numberless, things that I learned, I learned that being a firefighter is less of a job, and more of a lifestyle. You don’t just chose to be a firefighter, you are called. You don’t just have “co-workers,” you have family members.

Firefighters truly care about one another, and about other people. They care an outrageous amount about people they don’t even know. I struggle to care about the people I do know, and these firefighters love people that they’ve never met before.

Yes, there is drama is the fire house, but there is drama in every family, right? But do you know what’s not always present in every family that is present in the fire house? Selflessness. No matter what drama may be going on, or how much “me, me, me” each person might be shouting behind closed doors, their basic nature is selfless, and they always come back to that.

Fire fighters are fiercely loyal, unfailingly kind, and incredibly hard-working (along with being quite the jovial, joking bunch). I’m not sure I’ve ever met a group quite like them. Each day I see my shortcomings more and more. I see my skewed priorities when I hear them talk about theirs. And just being around them makes me want to be a better person.

I’m sort of a work in progress, but at least I have a family to help me along the way.

I'm the one in the middle, in case you couldn't tell.

I’m the one in the middle, in case you couldn’t tell.

 

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Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.

Did anybody else get wished a happy single awareness day, or was it just me? single awareness day

Just me? Okay, cool.

Or maybe you heard the oh so familiar (and frustrating) line “don’t worry, one day it will happen” from your trying-to-be-helpful family and friends?

Again, just me? Man, that’s rough. Maybe I need to start spending less time looking for love and more time looking for new friends. Jk! I have good friends (I would venture to say the best), but listen, sometimes this isn’t what I want to hear. Especially when in the back of my mind, I’m pretty sure it’s my fault the whole “love thing” isn’t happening for me.

See, here are my main problems with love:

1. I only want what I can’t have. I’ve had this discussion with my bfffff Tara multiple times, I am honestly only interested in someone until he shows any amount of interest in me. Seriously. It happens pretty much every time. Every single time a new guys comes into my life and I think I might be in love with him (because those of you that know me know that I’m pretty much an all or nothing kind of girl, and that I sometimes use the word love too loosely), it’s obviously easier for me to love him from afar. But then, if said guy decides he also wants to love me, it’s game over. Game. Over. I’m pretty sure it’s a defense mechanism. You know, as long as there is absolutely no chance of a relationship there is also pretty much no chance of a broken heart. It’s solid logic, but not a solid way to actually live life. It’s a concerning aspect of my personality that I’m trying really hard to fix. I mean, what if one day Will Anderson appears in my life and I shut him down? I can’t be having that.

2. I tend to get defensive. When a guy that I’m interested in (and still talking to, see problem #1) hurts my feelings, I immediately go on the defensive and put up a wall. And then it’s game over. And contrary to popular belief, I do actually have pretty fragile feelings. I’ll probably never even tell him that he hurt my feelings, and he’ll probably never even know what he did wrong, but something will shift. And it will be game over.

I also tend to find myself fairly undesirable…a lifetime of not being desired will do that to you. So if a guy shows any sort of interest in me, I immediately have She’s All That flashbacks and assume it’s a game, so I get defensive of myself.

“Misty, you are so pretty. Let’s go on a date.” -boy who is actually trying to be nice.

“–insert snide, sarcastic comment–” -my immediate reaction. 

There are just so many mind games played today (by guys and girls) that it’s too hard to take anyone seriously. Also, I’ve had my share of broken hearts over silly games, and I’m not inclined to ever have to mend one again. So I just shut it down and don’t accept pursuing, because who knows if it real or a game? Once again, defense mechanism. It’s easier to not play the game, than to play the game a lose. This one is unfair to all the actual good guys, and I know that. You shouldn’t have to pay for others mistakes, but alas, you do, and I’m sorry. I’m working on that, too.

3. Friendzoning. I spend an unhealthy amount of time in the friend zone. Or more accurately, in limbo. Where you’re not quite sure what’s going on. Are we just friends? Are we friends with potential? Are we more than friends? Am I just a hook-up? LIKE, WHY IS THERE SO MUCH GREY?  Why can’t it be black and white? I’m not saying people should go from nothing to love immediately (like I so often do in my head), but if you’ve been “friends” for a while and you’re still in limbo, something needs done about that. And my problem is that something always gets done, it’s just not the good something. Usually if I find my self in limbo with a guy, I get mad that he can’t just make it black and white, so I go ahead and choose for him. Friendzone. Game over. If you’re reading this, and you think you might want to some day date me, heed my words…be a man about it (I know I’m giving advice that applies directly to me, but really you should give this courtesy with every girl). Have a DTR with me (DTR = Define The Relationship). If we are in limbo, be a man and let me know what you want out the relationship. Unfortunately for you (and fortunately for me) you are the man, so you get to be the one responsible for initiating the relationship. Sorry bro, house rules. If this DTR does not occur in what I deem a reasonable amount of time, I will get mad, and I will choose for you, and it will always be the friend zone. I’m sure this strategy has booted some pretty good guys from life as well.

So, there you have it. There is my self-disclosure for the week. I have a defective brain.

Now you all know why I’m still single, so please, stop asking.

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Duck, duck, duck, duck….goose

I am just as tired as you are about hearing about Phil Robertson. I’m not even sure why we are talking about him, to be honest. An individual’s beliefs should not even be a talking point these days. But yet, here we are in the end of 2013 STILL discussing how WE think WE are right. No matter what side you are on, you think you’re right. Which I guess is human nature…if you’re five-years old.

Here is the only problem with everything that is going on with Mr. Phil Robertson and Duck Dynasty, and it has absolutely nothing to do with what he says, or the fact that he was banned from his very popular show. It has everything to do with our views on equality. Equality means that everyone has the right to do and say whatever they feel without fear of persecution. And the fact that this is a front page, top-tier news story proves just how skewed the public’s view of equality is these days.

For the record, before you judge me and stick me off to the side, and think I am some kind of hater or angry person, I just want to say that I am actually in support of same-sex relationships. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s not that I encourage it, but I think who an individual loves is none of my business. Who they love does not affect me in any way, shape, or form, so why should I try to dictate it or be offended by it? You know what offends me more than same-sex marriage? The fact that Kim Kardashian can get married for 72 days and nobody bats an eyelash at it. That is more offensive to my future marriage than Ellen and Portia being married.

If they love them, they love them and that is all there is to it. SIDE NOTE: Lots of homosexual people are actually a whole lot better at the love game than lots heterosexual people, because it’s so much more work for them than it is for heterosexuals. When you are homosexual, you have to fight to love who you love, which I think is probably a bonding factor. But when you are heterosexual, people become disposable because it’s just so darn easy.

The real problem here is that he is being criticized and condemned of hate because he expressed an opinion. It’s not that he was kicked off the show, because as a company A&E has every right to kick him off if he breached his contract or they don’t approve of something he says or does. Since A&E is not the government (I’m pretty sure), it has absolutely nothing to do with his First Amendment right. His job with A&E was an elected privilege, not a right. The problem is that having a belief or voicing a belief should not be something that is even written in a contract, or be something that can be approved or disapproved of, it should just exist.

Just as liberals are given the right to express their opinion that they agree with same-sex partnership, and they expect to be accepted, Phil Robertson has every right to disagree with them, and expect his opinion be accepted.

As a whole, the LGBT community preaches tolerance, which is a good thing. The issue that arises is that tolerance is preached, but not practiced. The LGBT community wants every one to be tolerant of their views on life and love, but they are often times intolerant of anyone who disagrees with them or has different views than them. (And I do’t mean to call them out specifically, but that is where the subject matter is at today.) Which is not okay. If you preach tolerance, you must also practice tolerance, which is putting up with stuff you don’t agree with and not crying hate every time someone says something that offends you.

Example: If you know me at all, you know that I am a little bit in love with Justin Timberlake. Okay, a “little bit” is probably a bit of a lie. I straight up adore JT. But, on his new album in the song Cabaret he has a line where he says “got you sayin’ Jesus so much it’s like we’re laying in a manger.” Um, as a Christian that is INCREDIBLY offensive to me. But do you hear me (or Christians everywhere) crying hate against JT because he is mocking Christianity? No. I either a.) ignore it, or b.) skip the song. (Just so we are all clear, this is NOT me hating on JT, I love him and I will probably never speak to you again if you try to pin JT hate on me.)

Just take a minute to think about it. Look at it from the point of, if someone on a really popular reality show revealed that they were homosexual and was then suspended indefinitely for that reason only, not because they went on a wild rant and for real slandered hate everywhere, or were caught executing heterosexual people, but they were suspended solely because they believed in homosexuality, that would be considered discrimination and people would be up-in-arms about it. Essentially this is the exact same situation, only opposite. Phil Robertson is being discriminated against because of his beliefs, and that is not okay. Discrimination is never okay, not matter the subject matter: race, sexual-orientation, religious beliefs. Doesn’t matter, not okay.

We’ve all come too far with equality to let these little things tear down everything that has been built up. I think as a whole the human race probably needs to develop some thicker skin. People are always going to say things that you find hurtful or offensive, just learn to roll with it. Also, while we’re at it, maybe we can also learn some compassion?

Here’s the big kicker,the thing that I can’t seem to wrap my head around…there are so many different channels to watch, magazines to read, and music to listen, that it just seems crazy to me that we can spend so much time arguing over something so easily avoided. If you don’t like what you see on TV, change the channel. If you don’t like what you’re reading in a magazine, put it down. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, skip the song. It sounds pretty basic and easy to me.

You cannot fight hate and discrimination with hate and discrimination.

If you want tolerance, then practice tolerance.

If you want equality, then practice equality. 

Categories: Entertainment, Everyday Happenings, Pop Culture | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Just like a tattoo, I’ll always have you

Yes, except it’s not like a tattoo, it is a tattoo. Believe it or not, I did actually get a tattoo. A week ago. Nothing crazy huge, or very detailed, but I got one and I love it, and that’s what matters.

Tara and I (you know my best friend? you can read her blog here) have sort of been planning this for months. We were talking about it last January, and then we realllllly talked about getting them while we were on vacation in June (and after reading what you are advised not to do with a new tattoo, I’m glad we didn’t because I did pretty much everything on the do not do list over that week), and we finally just set the date and did it.

I was terrified. The whole day leading up to it I kept trying to get out of it. I made a short list of the things I attempted to do to get out of getting a tattoo:

1. fake demon possession

2. get drunk (they won’t give you a tattoo if you’re drunk)

3. go back to California

4. fake a heart attack

5. pull a Rachel (from One Tree Hill) and drive Tara’s car off a bridge

6. commit a serious crime, forcing me to go to prison

7. pass out

8. walk out in front of a moving car

9. throw myself backwards out of a chair(causing a concussion, forcing me to go to the ER)

10. actual demon possession

Clearly, I did none of these. Number one because some of them are scarier than getting a tattoo (yeah, I’ve seen The Exorcist, demon possession is not on my to do list), plus Tara would have seen through the whole thing. So I did it. And it wasn’t that bad.

We went to Transformations Gallery & Tattoo in downtown Springfield. We chose this place because we were sort of already familiar with it because of it’s connection to Evangel University. We’d been in the gallery and knew some people who knew the owners, so we trusted them.

Going there was the perfect decision. Our artists name was Josh Tenneson. And he was awesome. We got there early and he was still in a session with someone else. Some guy who was in the process of getting something really big and detailed on his arm, some guy who looked much tougher than us. And they didn’t say much to each other. Which kind of had me worried, because I’m sort of a “laugh your way through things” kind of person. But, Josh seemed to adapt his approach to be funny when it was our turn. He was hilarious, which made things that much easier. If was ever going to get another tattoo, I would definitely go back to Transformation, because it was clean, and all the artists are crazy talented, and they made me feel comfortable. Even if it’s after I move to my North Carolina beach house. I will fly back to Missouri.  And I will always suggest them to people I know. They were awesome.

Getting a tattoo was probably one of the most anti-climatic things of my life, but in the best way possible. It didn’t hurt at all. It wasn’t super comfortable, but it also wasn’t like dying, which what I had made it out to be in my head. I had convinced myself that it was going to feel similar to being set on fire. It wasn’t similar at all. It wasn’t bad at all. In fact, I made another list, things that are more painful than getting a tattoo:

1. getting your eyebrows waxed

2. getting your legs waxed

3. carpet burn

4. paper cuts

5. traffic in LA

6. the hiccups

7. showering with a sunburn

8. anything that happens in a dentists office

9. that awful tingly sensation that happens when one of you extremities falls asleep

10. being a Chiefs fan

Getting a tattoo was easy. And it was fun.

Oh, and here are some pictures.

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Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name

So, as some of you might have heard, I am back in the 417. Probably not permanently, but at least semi-permanently.  I’ll be here until I decide what it is that I want to do with my life.

I got back early Monday morning. And by early, I mean like 2:30am. So, I’ve been a little bit of a zombie. I’m sorry to those of you who have been trying to talk to me over the past few days (like sense Thursday), I’ve been a pretty bad friend. I just have not had the time to talk to people. That is also why I didn’t tell anyone before hand that I was coming home. I was so busy and I didn’t have time to answer questions, and I didn’t want to only put in half the effort with everyone. So please accept my apology.

I made my decision to come back about a month ago. To be totally honest, I just sort of hated there. I am totally a smalltown girl. Or at least someone who needs a community of caring people around. And that was not the case in SoCal. People were mean and more selfish than I’ve ever met anywhere else. Traffic was bad. The beach was too far away. I had all these opportunities for fun things I could do, but no one to do them with, and things are just not as much fun to do alone.  So I didn’t do anything. But then I just got mad. And there were no seasons, and I wasn’t a fan of that. It was just not what I was hoping for.

But I think it was a good trip for me to make. I made some good connections and I got it out of my system. If I hadn’t gone out there I would have always been wondering “what if?” and now I know. I know that it is quite possible the worst place on earth to live. I also have a ton of great stories to tell.

I’m happy to be home, but I’m already planning for my next quest. This time to Nashville.

So there is it. If you guys have any other questions, comments, or concerns, you know how to get a hold of me.

Categories: Everyday Happenings | 1 Comment

Reviewing what we’ve learned

So I did this 30 day blog challenge the month of August, as some of you might have noticed (you know, all 7 of you in my readership). But, August is 31 days long, leaving me with one empty day.

For today, I have compiled a link to all of my blog posts over the last month, just to make things easier. In cased you missed a day (or you missed everyday, shame on you!), and you are DYING to read it. Because I know you all are 🙂 I hope you find them at least slightly entertaining, and I hope you all enjoyed getting to know me al little bit better.

Until next time..

Day 1: A Silhouette of Me (20 random facts about yourself)
Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
Day 3: Your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock ‘n roll (describe your relationship with your parents)
Day 4: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self.
Day 5: I just can’t stop singing now, because it makes me happy (5 things that make you most happy right now)
Day 6: It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do (what is the hardest thing you have ever experienced)
Day 7: Workin’ for the Weekend (what is your dream job, and why)
Day 8: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reigns”-Benjamin Franklin (what are 5 passions you have)
Day 9: Because I knew you, I have been changed for good (list 10 people who have influenced you and describe how)
Day 10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
Day 11: Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
Day 12: Eight days a week (describe a typical day in your current life)
Day 13: Nobody’s perfect (describe 5 weaknesses you have)
Day 14: I’m stronger than yesterday, now it’s nothing but my way (describe 5 strengths you have)
Day 15: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
Day 16: It’s my birthday! (What are your 5 greatest accomplishments)—>skipped!
Day 17: Dance magic dance (what is the thing you most wish you were great at)
Day 18: What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
Day 19: Oh the places you’ll go… (if you could live anywhere, where would it be and why)
Day 20: Now I’m stuck inside a memory (describe 3 significant memories from your childhood)
Day 21: Somebody save me (if you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first)
Day 22: I look once more, just around the river bend! (where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years)
Day 23: List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
Day 24: We are family (describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now)
Day 25: If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
Day 26: Waiting on the world to change (what popular notion do you think the world has most wrong)
Day 27: Your body is a wonderland (what is your favorite part of your body and why)
Day 28: This modern love is not enough (what is your love language)
Day 29: You think you know, but you have no idea…(what do you think people misunderstand most about you)
Day 30: Legacy (list 10 things you would hope to be remembered for)

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Day 30: Legacy (list 10 things you hope to be remembered for)

Today’s the last day for the 30 day challenge, guys! I can’t decide if I’m happy or sad about this.

Today’s topic is to list 10 things you hope to be remembered for. This is kind of hard, how can someone be really good at 10 things? I think this should be like 5 things you’d like to be remembered for, or how would you like people to remember you? Coming up with 10 things that don’t all sound ridiculous is hard (so hard that I think some of mine register as ridiculous).

1. I’d like to be remembered for being kind. If I’m remembered for nothing else in life, I hope that people will look back and say that I was kind. Kindness is such a fading attribute these days. (Yes, sarcasm is my first language. And yes, I hate most of the population, but I try to be nice to people, even if it’s forced.)

2. World peace. I’d like to bring on world peace I think that would be great to be remembered for.

3. And also, I’d like to save the polar bears. And by saving the polar bears, I will have ended global warming. And that also seems like a pretty great thing to be remembered for.

4. In a world full of close-minded, judgmental people, I’d like to be remembered for being open-minded. I try to see every side of an argument and then make my decision based on what I think makes the most sense. Based less on feelings and emotions and based more on logic and facts.

5. Can I be remembered for marrying Zac Efron? Can we make that happen, Zac?

6. For taking legendary photos.  This is a no brainer. Every artist wants their art to be remembered, and that’s no different for me. I want people to see magic in my pictures. And I want my pictures to make them feel something. I want people 30 years from now to say, “Oh, remember that one picture Misty Clay took of -insert person, place or thing-, it was so cool. She was great at capturing that perfect moment.” I know that I remember pictures that I’ve seen that I think are cool.

7. Comedy. I want people to remember that I was funny. That I was good at making them laugh and diffusing tension. That I didn’t take things too seriously.

8. I want people to remember seeing Christ in me. Not just that I talked about Him, or that they knew was I was a Christian, I want them to really remember seeing Him in me. I don’t want them to remember me preaching at them, or me telling them 100 times to go to church, I want them to think, “hey, I think that’s what Jesus would have been like if I met Him.” I know that’s a lofty goal, but isn’t that everyone’s goal as a Christian?

9. That I was 100% me. I don’t want to be remember as someone who followed the trend, or let others influence her life. I wanted to be remembered as being true to myself, no matter what kind of mockery I had to endure.

10. A good influence. I know that I’m a influencer. We all are. We all have influenced, do influence or will influence someone at some point in our lives. Probably lots of someones. Probably lots of someones we don’t even know, and I want to be an influence for good.

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Day 29: You think you know, but you have no idea (what do you think people misunderstand most about you)

“This is the diary of Misty Clay…”

(For those of you who don’t get it, that’s from the old MTV show The Diary of… Below you will find The Diary of…Britney Spears, which happens to be one of my favorites.)

Misconception #1: that I’m stuck up or snobbish. Neither of those things are true, but I think I can sometimes come across that way because when I don’t know someone very well, I tend to be really quiet while I try to gage their personality. And usually people assume that means I think I’m better than them. Wrong.

Misconception #2: that I am unintelligent. I think this stems from the same problem, I’m just quiet. I don’t always feel the need to open my mouth during group conversations, and therefore people think I’m not very smart. Wrong. I think here in LA it also comes from the fact that I grew up in Missouri, and most of the people I’ve encountered seem to think that people from the midwest are dumb hillbillies. Wrong.

Misconception #3: that I am shy. This is not true. Any of my friends can confirm this for you. Being shy is different than being quiet. Shy people get nervous in unfamiliar situations, or when they’re with strangers. I’m don’t get nervous, I’m just observing. Or waiting until I’ve crafted the perfect words to say. I’m not shy, I just only speak when I have things to say, unlike most people who talk just for the sake of talking.

Misconception #4: because I’m a girl who likes to bake and wear dresses that I don’t know anything about sports. Wrong. It would also be wrong to assume that I’m not a teeny bit of a geek.M

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