Day 28: This modern love is not enough (what is your love language)

I love love languages. I make it my personal mission to figure out everyone’s love language. Mostly because I’m just curious, but partly so that I know how to love that person. If I’m being honest, I’m probably still going to love them with my love language, but I’ll at least be aware of theirs.

My love language is touch. Which is the most obvious thing in the world once you’ve spent any amount of time with me. It’s the way I show love and the way I receive love.

If I’m not being touched, I don’t feel loved. That makes it really rough to live out in SoCal while my family and best friends live in the midwest. I know that I’m being loved, but it’s hard for me to really feel loved. It’s nothing that is their fault, it’s just the way I’m hardwired. Hugs are my favorite thing. I love hugs. But really most any kind of touch will do. When I’m watching TV or movies with people I want to sit right next to them (I am totally a cuddler) . When I’m walking with someone I want to link arms with them, or walk rightnextothem. When I’m talking to someone I will touch them. I just want to be close to people. Literally.

And I am forever analyzing what each touch means. That part is kind of obnoxious because most people don’t think about their touches, so they just do things offhandedly that I will spend hours trying to analyze.

I feel like touch is a dangerous love language to have. I feel like I sometimes offend people when I hug them or touch them, because some people are just not touchy people.  Which is rough for me because I’m just trying to love them, when in reality I’m making them uncomfortable. Case in point: my best friend in the whole world is not a very touchy person, which is strange for me. Sometimes I forget that about her because now that we are bffffs she has warmed up to the fact that I’m going to sit right next to her, or walk as close as humanly possible to her, or that I’m going to hug her…constantly (or she’s given up trying to fight it). But in the beginning I’m sure it was weird for her.

Perfect example of mine and Tara’s relationship (me, of course, being the black cat).

My second love language is quality time. I just like to be with the people that I love (preferably in close proximity). And I am an introvert, so generally I like to be alone. So you know I love you when I want to just spend time with you.  I can receive love by acts of service. I don’t really show love that way, but I “feel appreciated” when people offer to help me with things, or do things for me.  I will often preform acts of service even if I don’t love you, just out of kindness, so it’s not really a way I show love.

I feel awkward when I receive gifts. I’d much rather you spend the day with me, or give me a hug than buy me a gift. I do, however, like to give gifts. So I guess gifts are a way that I can show love, but not really a way I receive it. Which is sort of a double standard, but that’s just how I roll.

Words of affirmation is the one way that I don’t really receive or show love. I just feel so awkward. If someone give me words of affirmation, I automatically feel obligated to say something kind to them or complement them, or I shoot it down. Either way, I feel awkward and don’t really receive the love in the way I’m sure they are trying to show it. Words of affirmation are just not my thing..

Most of the time people are aware of their love language. You know yourself well enough to know if you’re a touchy person, or if you like to give and receive gifts, but incase you are curious about what your “official love language” is, take the test here.

Categories: Everyday Happenings | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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