Everyday Happenings

When the night’s the darkest, you can see the stars

To say my life has been dark lately would be a gross understatement. It’s literally just been one thing after another after another after another. Like seriously, give. me. a. break. 

And I’m not going to lie to you, I haven’t always dealt with life’s blows gracefully. I sulk, and I lash out, and I recoil. Mostly I sleep and ignore people. That’s my coping mechanism. Say what you will, but it’s healthier (and cheaper) than heroin, right?

In my last blog I tried to describe what it feels like to be “more than just sad” during the holidays. It was hard then, and then things got worse. It’s one thing to lose one person you care about, it’s infinitely worse to be blindsided by the loss of several people.

Without going into a lot of detail (if you’re here to read the latest gossip in the on-going saga of my life, then you’ve come to the wrong place), I got pretty badly hurt. But, it was not by the person who I thought would deliver the most painful blow. Honestly, it was the way everyone else reacted that hurt the most.

The fallout was worse than the initial impact. 
My friends, or people who I thought were my friends, turned their backs on me.
When I needed them the most they were nowhere to be found.

Under the guise of not wanting to get involved, or trying to stay neutral, they all left me high and dry. And that was when I learn a valuable lesson first hand: your boyfriend’s friends are not your friends. I thought due to the fact that my circumstances were different that my outcome would be different. I knew most of them outside of Lucas*. Even if Lucas had never been in the picture, I still would have known these people, and we still would have been friends. So I thought it was different.

It was not different.
When the dust settled, they were not my friends.
They were his.

That’s when I learned a second lesson: when the night is the darkest, you can see thedark2 stars. This works both on a scientific level, with actual stars, but also on a metaphorical level. Right now, while my night is the darkest, the stars in my life are all the more clear. And it’s not always the people who you would expect. There were people who I believed in, who let me down, and there were people that I didn’t really give a second thought to, who have stuck by my side. Life is funny like that. Constantly reminding you that you have no idea what’s going on.

Right now, it’s easy to see the people who really care about me. Because when you care about someone, you don’t skirt around the hard topics, you face them head on. When you care about someone, you don’t avoid them when you think something might be awkward, you walk through that awkwardness with them. When you care about someone you are not just there when it’s easy, you hang around when life gets messy.

These people, my metaphorical stars, have the knack for knowing when to be exactly what I need. They know when to give me tough love, and when to offer gentler advice; when to offer me a distraction, and when to let me wallow a little; when to encourage me to run a 5K, and when to feed me and tell me I’m pretty. They’ve all been incredibly thoughtful and kind to me, even when sometimes I was less than kind and thoughtful in return (read: when I was the worst person to be around).

So in a really strange way, I can already see the bright side of this situation. If nothing else comes from this, at least now I know who is in my corner. It was brought to my attention recently that I had been “burning bridges” with people, which I didn’t for a minute think was true. What had I done to burn any bridges? I wasn’t hateful to anyone, I didn’t even really talk to anyone about what was going on. How could I be burning bridges with people I wasn’t even talking to? But it looks like I was just blissfully unaware. I’ll just say this, if a rumor, or a little awkwardness is enough for you to cut ties with me, then honestly, I’m probably better off without you. I am not currently in a position to be able to tolerate having to question the intentions of everyone around me.

Feel free to divide yourselves up into the categories of STARS and BRIDGES and then react accordinglyI don’t think it will be hard, you know who you are on both sides of the fence. Thank you for continuing to help me figure life out, because you all play your part, some just do it better than others.

*name changed for obvious reasons

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A that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.

It’s okay to feel sad.pain
It’s okay to feel sad.
It’s okay to feel sad.

I have to keep telling myself this.

It’s okay to feel damaged.
When you care you take that risk of getting bruised.

It doesn’t make you weak to feel insecure and broken.
It doesn’t make you crazy to struggle with reacting to pain.
It doesn’t make you a bad Christian to feel sad. 

It makes you human. To feel these things makes you human. God gave us the full-spectrum of feelings for a reason. Yes, choose joy, but you can also be sad.

I think, for me, I spend so much time worrying about how I’m going to appear to others. Am I too this, or too that? What will people think about me?? This much worse thing happened to so-and-so, do I even have the right to be sad about a problem so inferior in the grand scheme of things?

I had a couple bad experiences this year. Yes, one of them involved a toxic relationship with someone who lied to me and treated me like I  was disposable, but I also had a job I absolutely loved that I tried to resign from because it got tainted and ruined but some bouts of poor leadership and bad decision making. But in comparison to some of the other things my friends went through this year, those two things, even combined, seem so insignificant.

So I try to squash my feelings and distract myself, only for the pain in my heart to intensify.

When it does finally emerge, it’s that much worse.
It’s full-blown depression, instead of sadness.

Depression isn’t always what you see in movies.
It’s not just blue filter to indicate the sad montage of your life.
Usually it’s not even really blue, it’s grey. Blue has too much feeling.

It’s feeling empty.
It’s crying for hours.
It’s not properly eating for weeks.
It’s sleeping for days, or not sleeping at all.
It’s when the things you loved, you don’t love anymore.
It’s making plans you have no intention of following through with and canceling at the last minute. 
It’s telling people you’re fine because you are embarrassed to talk about it.
It’s when nothing is wrong, but really everything is wrong.
It’s a numbness that is hard to explain if you’ve never felt it.

How do you begin to talk about having feelings of depression during the “most wonderful time of the year?” How do you bring it up in the midst of twinkling lights and emotionally charged family dinners without making it sound like you are just an attention seeker? How do you begin to be vulnerable in a world where all people want to do is judge you and make you feel insignificant and roll their eyes at you when you say you’re more than just sad? I can picture people doing it now as they read this. People who I consider my friends, I can vividly see them rolling their eyes at my words. And yeah, it hurts my feelings, but it’s not the end of the world. Some people just won’t understand, and you can’t make them. What seems so insignificant to someone else, could literally be the biggest thing in your world. And you can’t make people get that.

I don’t even get it really, how this happened to me. How can I be mad when someone else, who isn’t feeling what I’m feeling, doesn’t get it?

Why is it easier to share how I’m feeling here in writing available for the whole world to read than it is to talk to my best friends, or my sister, or my mom about it? I think it probably has to do with the veil of protection the internet provides, and absolutely zero to do with those people. I like having the ability to hide when I need to, instead of laying it all out in person. The ability to ignore texts and phone calls (which I will do), and respond in my own time frame and after I’ve had the time to formulate exactly how I want to respond, instead of the required instant response of face-to-face interaction. I also think the backspace key helps. There’s no backspace key in verbal communication, I’ve learned this the hard way.

The truth is I don’t know.
I don’t know why it’s easier to write a blog than have a conversation.
I don’t know how you bring up depression while everyone is singing Christmas carols.
I don’t know how to shut the numb out and just be happy again.

I’ve noticed that my house looks a lot like a college dorm room. Littered with pictures of people and places, instead of real home decor. That’s because I need those picture to remind that there are people who love me. I need those pictures to remind me of those happy moments. Frame after frame serves as a touchstone for me, and right now, that is what I need.

Until I figure it out…until I figure out how to move forward, I guess I’ll just keep being. I know to whom I belong, and I know that I can be restored, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. I’ll keep fighting to be myself, when the darkness threatens to overwhelm me. I’ll keep doing the everyday things that make me me. Trivia nights, Friendsgivings, Clark cuddles and Netflix, Sunday afternoon football, nerdy conversations about Harry Potter and Myers-Briggs, bonfires and s’mores, sarcasm, beach vacations, over-sharing on my blog, and Taylor Swift sing-alongs in my car and shower.

I’ll keep doing it all until the darkness has retreated, and the light is back for good.

***** If you are struggling with depression, you don’t have to struggle alone or stay broken, here are some quick resources, just in case:

•You can learn more about starting therapy here, since pretty much everyone can benefit from talking to a professional.
•You can learn more about depression here.
7 Cups and IMAlive are free, anonymous online text chat services with trained listeners, online therapists, and counselors.
Vent and Paralign are community-based apps where you can express yourself anonymously and connect with people who might be feeling the same way.
•If you need to talk to someone immediately, the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. A list of international suicide hotlines can be found here.

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Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

I hope “the other woman” is never a part of you life.
I hope that you never have to meet her, or hear about her, or think about her.
Because I hope for you, whoever you are, that she doesn’t exist.shakespeare

Because I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.

Because that kind of pain is something totally different. It’s an endless labyrinth full of twists and curves, and tunnels that lead you to new kinds of pain every day.

The initial pain is thinking about their whole relationship in your head. How intense is their relationship? How long has this been going on? How did it start? Why did it start? Did she not know? If she did know, why? If she didn’t know, how? Why didn’t he tell her? What did he tell her about you? Did he call you crazy? And trust me, after some time, you will be able to see it all, and then some.

And then it’s the pain of thinking about your own relationship with him. Why doesn’t he love me? Why would he be so cruel? Did he ever love me, did he ever even care at all? Was it a game the whole time?

The pain of realizing that everything he said to you, he was saying to her.
That quiet, soft voice that you thought was reserved only for you, he was also using with her.

The pain of realizing that the same lips he used to kiss you, were also kissing her.
That body that you felt so sure of and so safe with, was also holding her.

And then you feel disgusting and dirty.

The pain of having to imagine them in the same places that you once were yourself: his kitchen, his car, his office, his porch. Anywhere you ever were with him, is now tainted by her.

The pain of knowing you obviously weren’t good enough.
Not pretty enough.
Not smart enough.
Not funny enough.
Not talented enough.
No thoughtful enough.
Not enough.

The pain of wondering what is so wrong with you that he needed someone else.
Then the comparisons start; why is she better than me?

The pain of remembering all the times he excused himself from spending time you, that now you have to wonder if it was to spend time with her. You never wondered before what he was doing when he wasn’t with you, because you assumed that he was working, or hanging out with his other friends, or going to the gym, or doing something else productive to society, you never assumed he was cultivating another romantic relationship. How many stupid lies did you fall for?

The pain of feeling absolutely betrayed.

And then, another darker and worse tunnel leads you down the path of wondering how many other people knew about it and didn’t tell you? How many people saw what was going on, but allowed you to stay oblivious? How ridiculous did you look to those people?

That tunnel is where you meet your new friends embarrassment and humiliation. And you just learn to live with them. Because you were stupid and this is what happens to stupid girls.

You were not different. You were not special. You were just another girl.

(…but the secret is that YOU are special one. You have been all along.)

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#GratiTuesday: Bolivar City Fire

Today, and always, I am grateful for my Bolivar City Fire Department family. All of them.

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I know I have blogged about this before, but it’s never going to stop being true, I never in a million years thought I would be working in the fire service. Like, never. The thought never once crossed my mind.

But now, after three years with BCFD, I have no idea who I would be without these people in my life. They have given me so much and enriched my life more than I can quantify. And I don’t just mean the people who work with me at the station…I mean everyone of them, spouses/significant others and children included.

These families have graciously welcomed me into their hearts. I’ve formed friendships with them that I didn’t even know I needed.

And that is what I love so much about BCFD, we truly are a family. And how many people get to say that about the people they work with? I am a lucky girl. It sounds a little exaggerated to say it, but I really believe if I was in distress I could call anyone of the members of our department and they would drop everything to aid me…I’ve seen it happen. And I don’t think there is a single crew who’s family hasn’t welcomed me to a meal (or twelve), and their wives/fiancés/significant others have spent many hours hanging out and talking with me and getting to know me. And that means more to me that I think they’ll ever comprehend. Because being accepted and loved by your work family is not a luxury everyone has, and I feel very fortunate.

I am eternally grateful for their friendships.

Happy GratiTuesday! 

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#GratiTuesday: Alexis Layne

Today is the 12th birthday of my niece, Alexis. And today I am grateful for her.
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She is funny, smart, and creative.
And when I say smart, I mean she’s way smarter than I was at 12. She’s probably way smarter at 12 than I am at 26.
And when I say creative, I mean that she has more creativity in her pinky than I could ever hope to have. She likes to paint and draw and create things.

 
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She is also thoughtful and has a mess of feelings. And it’s hard having feelings in middle school. Because middle schoolers are not the most sensitive of creatures. They poke and make fun, and bully. And I spend a lot of time worrying about her.

She’d rather play Minecraft than wash her hair, and I love her for that. Because come on, why wash your hair if you don’t have to?

Happy Birthday, Alexis! And happy GratiTuesday!

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#GratiTuesday: Colossians 3:13

This week I am grateful for forgiveness. I know that sounds cliche, but this is my blog and I’ll be cliche if I want to. And as my bfffff Tara would say, cliches are cliches for a reason.

12301754_10153186971036975_2715205849436186696_nMy gratefulness for forgiveness comes in two primary tangents. First, I am eternally grateful for the forgiveness that comes from my Savior. The guy who knows all my hidden sins and all the bad things I do, but still chooses to call me by name. Christ forgives what I’ve done (and what He already knows I’m going to do) and instead decides to see my potential for what I could be one day.

What kind of life would it be with no hope, which is what I would have without forgiveness? No hope to be better. No hope to be stronger. No hope to be happier, or smarter, or kinder. That wouldn’t be a life I would be interested in living. So I am grateful to be a loved child of the King.

Second-fold: I’m grateful for the forgiveness my friends and family extend to me on a daily basis. I am aware that I am not the easiest person to get along with all the time. I have my selfish moments, and I have my hateful moments, and my ridiculous moments, but my friends and family love me regardless of how bad I mess up. And I mess up a lot, but they always look to see the better parts of me, even on days when those parts are tucked way deep inside.

Without their gracious hearts, and their willingness to forgive my flaws, I would have no one. And I don’t think that’s a life I’d be interested in living either.

So, to my friends and family, thanks for forgiving me, and remembering that I can sometimes be cool, even when I suck.

Happy GratiTuesday! (Even though today is Wednesday. I knew this moment was inevitable. I knew I was bound to miss a Tuesday somewhere along the line…I just thought it’d be further out than week three!)

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#GratiTuesday: “It is health that is wealth, and not pieces of gold and silver.”

Today I am grateful for my relative good health.

This seems like something small, but it’s really not. It’s a really big deal that I take for granted on a daily basis. The fact that I don’t get colds, or the flu, or have any kind of chronic pain is a huge blessing in my life.

I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I basically never get sick. I’m convinced it’s because I ate dirt as a child and refused to bathe, but look Ma, it all worked out in the end! I have developed a pretty stellar immune system, and for that I am grateful.

I can remember in college living in the dorms (#B1Sforever) how when one girl got sick, it was just a matter of time until the entire floor was sick. But I was never a part of that group…and it wasn’t because I spent the month in isolation.

pizzaAlso, I can 100% testify to the fact that I don’t exactly treat my body like a temple. I eat junk food. I stay up late. I don’t fitness (yes, I just used fitness as proper verb). My body has every reason to revolt against me. But it continues to be a brick house. And for that I am grateful.

Being sick is actually one of my greatest fears. I’m afraid that one day I’ll go from totally fine, to mortally ill. And I’ll get no warning. That one day I’ll use up all of my immune system tokens and then boom terminal illness. I’m not trying to make light of it, because terminal illness is not something I joke about, but making it a little lighter is the only way to console my fears of it. I’m constantly having to remind myself that God doesn’t work like that, trading tokens for health.

So until told otherwise, I’ll continue to live in the glow that is being healthy and I’ll try to not take my working extremities for granted.

Happy GratiTuesday!

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#GratiTuesday: Mama like the roses, but most of all she cared

I’ve notice, upon review of my recent blog posts that I spend a lot of time being sad. Or lamenting about being sad. Or complaining about things.

Which is sad. Because I actually do live an incredible life. So, I’ve decided that throughout the year of 2016, I’ll be focusing on being grateful for what I’ve been given, because even through the rough patches of life, it’s still incredible. Each day that I wake up with Clark in my lap is a gift. Each time I open my phone to text message or a phone call, I’m reminded of all the people who love me, and that is a gift.

So each week (hopefully) you’ll be seeing a post of from on something I’m grateful for. These posts will conveniently be on Tuesday, because it makes a nice little hashtag 🙂

The first #GratiTuesday I’d like to go on record is for my Mom. God bless my mother, who knows how she does the things that she does? I have no idea how she manages to be so good a life.

She’s selfless, and hilarious. She puts up with me with an outrageous amount of patience. Which I know is a thing all moms do, but if you know me at all, you know this is a bigger feat that most. She has spent many hours on the phone with me teaching me how to do laundry, whether it’s really okay to leave a crockpot on ALL DAY while you leave the house, and talking me through long LA traffic jams.

She’s a lover of music, and a lover of nap time (which I think has been passed down genetically). She sleeps through movies, but still indulges my Dad and me when we drag her to IMAX showings of Star Wars on opening weekend…when we had to stand in line for 2.5 hours…to see the movie in a theater full of nerds.

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I’ve never particularly wanted kids, but if someday they appear in my future, I could only hope to be as great of a mother as she has been to me.

Love you, Mom!
Happy GratiTuesday!

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To the boy who couldn’t love me (and probably isn’t read this):

I’m sorry for what we have become. The heartbreak and the hateful words and silence were never a part of the plan. I never wanted any of this for either of us. All I want is for you to be happy, and if your happiness is found in someone else, then I want you to have that person. I see now that you’re just not ready to settle down and be with me. And that’s okay. I can’t make you love me with the same exuberance as I love you. You’re young, and attractive, and funny, and smart, and charming, and you still have so many options to choose from, but I can’t be just an option. I need to be the only one. And as petty as you think it is or society thinks it is, I need labels. I get that labels aren’t cool, but listen, I never claimed to be cool. As uncool as I may be, I love equally as deeply, I need someone who isn’t afraid to love me the same way. And I get that you’re just not ready for it, but I can’t change who I am. And you can’t change who you are, and where you are in life. And I’m sorry for thinking that I could force that on you. Your feelings do matter. But I can’t be what you need in this season of your life, and I’m sorry.

Mostly I’m sorry that we’ll never get to live the life I’ve imagined for us. I’m sorry we won’t fly our families to Catalina one day to watch us celebrate our love for one another. And I’m sorry that we’ll never get that farm in Austin that we talked about, and that we’ll never have to struggle to figure out how you, and me, and Clark will all fit in one bed comfortably (because believe me, it was going to be a challenge), and that we won’t sit on our porch swing when we’re old and wrinkling drinking lemonade together. I’m sorry that we’ll never get to see the actualization of one another’s dreams. I just hope that one day we’ll reach the point of where I can still watch from a distance. Because when you figure it out, and to capture your potential in everything, you’ll have a beautiful life, and it will be worth beholding.

It’s just that sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. No matter how hard you try to force it. And boy, did we try to force it. I still don’t get it, I guess, why things like this happen. I can’t fathom for the life of me why a God who loves me more than anything would allow me to fall so desperately in love with someone I’m not supposed to spend my days growing old with. I’m sure many of you will have your explanations, but they will fall on deaf ears. I’ll never get it. Sure, I’ll hear you when you say “it will help you grow” and, “God’s just molding you so that when your prince charming comes along you’ll be ready” and I’ll nod and agree, but in my heart I won’t understand. Couldn’t I have been molded by some other force other than earth-shattering heartbreak?

My friends will all think this boy is the only person to blame for the situation. And I will love them for it, but they will be wrong. It’s also my fault. Behavior is cultivated. And what you allow is what will continue. And I allowed a lot. I allowed it because I was desperately in love (as I still am) and I thought being easy-going, letting him do what he wanted and make all the calls in the relationship would make him love me more (I don’t think it did). And because I have this idea in my head of who I don’t want to be. I never wanted to be that girl, the one who people refer to as “ball and chain.” The girl who is so needy that she become a joke to people. I wanted to be the lovable one, and I thought allowing an excess of things to go on would make me that girl, and that he would love me for it. I don’t think it did, I think it taught him to take me for granted. Maybe if I had asserted my needs a little earlier we wouldn’t be where we are now. Maybe we would be happy. Or maybe we would have found out long before now that we really weren’t meant for each other and we could have just been actual friends. And maybe I wouldn’t be miserable right now.

Many people will write-off our relationship because it was never an “official” relationship. They’ll say things like “well, you guys were never actually together so…” and those are the people who will hurt me the most. Because it doesn’t have to be official for it to hurt. He didn’t have change his Facebook status for it be real. Because my love was real. My tears are still very real. It was all real to me, because I had already committed to it. And by you taking that away from me, and invalidating it, it amplifies my pain. Because that means I just making a big deal out of nothing and I should just grow up. And thoughts like that won’t help me heal.

You know, and maybe it wasn’t as real for him, but even that kind of knowledge doesn’t make it any easier for me. In fact, I think it makes it harder. The realization that he might have never loved me hurts worse that thinking that he just fell out of love with me. To think that it was just a game for him to get what he wanted and then leave is even worse. And I try to not let my mind wander that way, but it happens. Because I’m cynical. I’ve spent the last 10 years thinking that I’m unlovable, because while all my friends are getting married and finding love and happiness, I’m not. Up until very recently I’ve never even been close. There’s never been anyone in my life who I’ve thought “yeah, I can spend forever with this person.” Until now. But what’s worse than not having anyone is fooling yourself into thinking you have someone, or having them in flashes and then nothing at all. I can tell you from experience, that is worse. People always say “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all,” and those people are wrong.

I’ll spend the next several months trying to piece myself back together. And it will be hard. “Months” is a very optimistic way to look at it, it will likely be longer. Because I’ve spent the last two years forming this other version of myself. This pseudo-Misty who’s life was entangled with someone else. Because that is what you do when you’re in love. So now I have to disentangle myself and fill in the holes where he used to be.

Friends, please love me anyway. I’m just trying to find my joy again. Bare with me as I bail on your plans, and when I fake laugh at your jokes, and as I post a plethora of Taylor Swift lyrics to my social media accounts (can’t help it, girl just speaks to me), because eventually I’ll be the me you remember, or I’ll be a better version of her.

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The Moment I Knew

So recently I have been “talking” to this boy (who will remain nameless for his own protection). Which, in and of itself is a problem (for obvious reasons..I mean, I am 25-years-old). Mostly because when I say recently, I mean off and on for like a year. It’s not that I am 100% against “talking,” but when you can’t nail something down in a YEARS time, I think it’s time to move on. Be friends, don’t be friends, but definitely stop “talking.” Because prolonged “talking” is the hardest part of a relationship. “Talking” is when we are more concerned with who has the upper hand than actually attempting to fall in love. “Talking” causes more insecurities than are already present in everything but the most committed of relationships. “Talking” is the worst.

So please, take my advice.worth

You are worth more. I’m not just talking to girls here. Guys, you are worth more. Each of us, God-made human beings are worth more than “talking.” You are worth spending time with. You are worth phone calls. You are worth the most inconsequential of text messages, or Snapchats. You are worth reassuring. You are worth commitment. You are worth being made a priority. You are worth showing off, and meeting their friends and their family. You are worth bike rides, and road trips. You are worth day trips to the zoo, and museums. You are worth homemade dinners, and nights watching Netflix. You are worth so much more than you realize, and if the person you’re “talking” to doesn’t realize that, that is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault, but that doesn’t make it okay.

It will be hard, but you have to re-evaluate.

I tried every way in the world to convince someone that I was worth it, but you should never have to convince someone of your worth. And the moment I realized he wasn’t getting it, I made this play list. (Sorry for the Debbie-Dower post, but I had to make a public declaration, or I will fall into the same old cycle.)

1. The Moment I Knew — Taylor Swift  Red

“What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show?”

2. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye — John Mayer  Battle Studies

“I love you more than songs can say, but I can’t keep running after yesterday.”

3. One Too Many — Bryan Greenberg  We Don’t Have Forever

“Ok, I’m here. I’m ready to talk. Sacred to hear my own voice. Try to listen to my broken heart. Drown out the noise.”

4. Forever and Almost Always — Kate Voegele  A Fine Mess

“You’ll be mine forever and almost always. It ain’t right to just love me when you can. I won’t wait patiently or wake up everyday just hoping that you’ll still care.”

5. The Hardest Part — Coldplay  X & Y

“And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart.”

6. World of Chances — Demi Lovato  Here We Go Again

“Maybe you’ll call me someday. Hear the operator say the number’s no good, and that she had a world of chances for you.”

7. Sooner Than Later — Drake  So Far Gone

“I forgot to call to you on your birthday. You swear you’re the last thing on my mind. There is nothing I can do to fix it,  all you ever asked me for was time.”

8. My Myself and I — Hanson  Shout It Out

“I’m not gonna try to forget. Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end?”

9. Hurricane — Parachute  Overnight

“Oh I knew, that even if I kept you in the dark it would never do, because it only takes a spark.”

10. White Horse — Taylor Swift  Fearless

“I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.”

11. It’s Beginning To Get To Me — Snow Patrol  Eyes Open

“And it’s beginning to get to me, that I know more of the stars and sea, than I do of what’s in your head.”

12. Beg You To Fall — Kate Voegele Gravity Happens

“And I don’t wanna stand here and beg you to fall. ‘Cause one day you’ll see, I was worth it all.”

13. Kept — Matt Nathanson  Modern Love

“And I should have kept my hands; I should have kept my arms inside. I believe it now. I should have kept my head. I should have kept my heart, my heart.”

14. I Almost Do — Taylor Swift  Red

“And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do.”

15. Make You Feel My Love — Adele  19

“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, 

I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”

Listen to the playlist here.

Categories: Everyday Happenings, Playlists | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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