1. STOP STRAIGHTENING YOUR HAIR! It’s a losing battle.
2. Cherish your family and friends (and pets). People can and will be taken from you unexpectedly and you’ll have a hard time recovering. You’ll wish you spent more time with you Grandma and Granny, so don’t take them for granted. Take more pictures and talk with them more. And when Magic dies you will fall apart. Don’t take him for granted.
3. Don’t just dream about California, plan for it.
4. Keep stalking that boy. One day all those skills and tricks you figured out will come in handy when stalking celebrities. Also, you’re going to be realllllly good at this, so maybe consider majoring in something like criminal investigation. (P.s. you’re going to get to meet Joe Jonas.)
5. You know what you want right now, your standards are not too high. Don’t settle for someone just because he’s there. You’re going to regret it. Don’t get in a hurry, “ring by spring” does not apply to you. You’re going to have to be patient. Just be prepared to be patient while being a bridesmaid about 27 time.
6. Continue to hone that sarcasm skill. It will become your greatest defense against punching people in the face. You’ll become proficient in it and people will love you for it.
7. Tara Bartgis isn’t as scary as she looks, trust me.
8. You’re not fat, no matter what you think. Don’t look at sizes, just wear what’s fits. Stop comparing yourself to other girls, it’s just going to frustrate you. You are not going to ever be able to wear a size 2. You. Have. Hips. Deal with it.
9. Go online and search for a kid from Canada named Justin Bieber. Discover him. Make him sign a contract that says you are his manager and are entitled to at least 35% of his profits. Just do it and thank me later.
10. Don’t bother with the people who don’t like you for you. The people that don’t appreciate your awkward, sarcastic, obsessive self, are not worth your time, so stop trying to impress them and start appreciating the people who love you for you. You don’t need to be popular, you’re going to have some of the greatest friends. Quality, not quantity.
I had some pretty unfortunate fashion choices when I was 16. And I had hair issues. And thank goodness my shoes can’t be seen in this.
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