This is pretty rough. My friend, Phoebe, shared this word with me today: misanthrope. It’s a noun that means: one who hates all other humans. There should be a picture of me next to this definition in the dictionary. I pretty much hate everyone in the world and everything that they do, how can I pick just 10 pet peeves? I’ll do my best though, just be aware that this list could possibly go on forever.
1. Children. Children are my biggest pet peeve. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore the children in my life, but that’s it. I hate all other kids. They are whiney, slobbery, obnoxious, sticky, loud, selfish and often times smelly. And parents these days don’t seem to want to teach their children how to behave in public. When did we stop teaching manners? C’mon, your child should not feel like it’s okay to scream and cry and throw a fit while in public. Well-behaved kids are rarer than diamonds.
2. Pirating music. Sooo, let me get this straight, you loooooove Drake and Justin Bieber, but instead of buying their albums, you’re going to download them illegally? That makes a WHOLE lot of sense. If you really loved that artist you would support their livelihood by actually purchasing their albums. How do you expect the industry to survive if people keep stealing from it?? Studio time is not free. I know that they are billionaires, but that doesn’t make it okay to steal from them. You don’t walk into Target and stick the cd in your bag do you? Stealing is stealing. If I hear about anyone pirating music, I will go off on them (whether I know them or not).
3. Rudeness. I hate it when people are rude. I know that this is not something that anyone likes, but it really just gets to me. That is the first thing I notice about people, no matter what your “dominant trait” is, I will instantly notice whether you are rude or polite. And there is no redeeming trait for being rude. I don’t care how funny you are, that won’t make up for it. How hard is it to be polite people?? I bet the entire world would run smoother if people weren’t so rude.
4. One-uppers. You know those people in the world that always have to out-do you? I hate them. You broke your foot? Oh, I broke all the bones in my leg. You’re going on vacation to Hawaii? Oh, I’m going to stay on a private island in the Bahamas. I just can’t stand those people who either have to have it worse than you, or they have things better than you. Once I discover that you are this kind of person, I will likely start making things up for you to compete with.
5. Couples who sit on the same side of the booth in restaurants. I just feel like it’s so awkward. Like, why do you need to sit next to each other? Isn’t the point of going to dinner together to talk to each other? Wouldn’t that be easier if you were across from each other? Wouldn’t that make it easier to look at each other? This should just extend to all those obnoxiously affection couples. I do not want to see you kissing all the time. Get a room. Clearly you’re together because you’re holding hands, you don’t need to be all over each other.
6. Bad drivers. People who don’t turn right on red. People who don’t use their blinkers. People who drive 10 below the speed limit. People who don’t know how to use a four-way stop. People who can’t stay in their lane. People who speed through parking lots. People who don’t turn their lights on in the rain, or at night. People who honk at you to go BEFORE the light turns green, or while you’re waiting to turn because their are people in the road. People who don’t let pedestrians cross the road without fear for their lives. People who drive down a lane that is closing and expect you to let them in at the last minute. People who exit across five lanes of traffic. People who zig zag across lanes in traffic.
7. People who think they are a bigger deal than they are. Self-explanatory. Listen, nobody cares what you do, eat or say. Get over yourself.
8. Texting type. “U r prolly goin 2 h8 me b4 my list is ovr.” Seriously people. Learn how to spell. Those extra two letter in ‘you’ are not going to kill you to type. Drives me insane. I hate having to try and decipher this crap. It’s like one giant game of MadGab. This upcoming generation isn’t even going to know that there is a ‘y’ and an ‘o’ in the word ‘you.’ Numbers do not belong in words and vowels are your friend. Also, PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs, are annoying.
9. Fast food places who ask “how are you?” It makes things weird. I never know when you order. It’s awkward small talk. We both know you don’t care about how I’m doing. I just want some food, and I want it fast. No chit-chatting.
10. People who think their opinion is the only one that matters. People who are self-righteous. People who think that it’s a good idea to fight hate with hate.
Honorable mentions: Skinny jeans/Leggings as pants. Selfish people. Vulgar people who thank God during award ceremonies (I’m looking at you Chris Brown). People who go into business’ minutes before they close. People who don’t know the difference between you’re/your, their/there/they’re, two/to/too. Needy people. Busy work. People who don’t clean up after themselves. Music being too loud in stores. People who talk too much. When banks charge you multiple over-draft fees. Bosses who assume your work is your life. Unsolicited advice. Pop-up ads. Ads on Youtube. Songs with police sirens in them. Attention-seekers. Couples who are instantly in love with each other. Teenagers. Know-it-alls. Mornings.