Posted in Everyday Happenings

Ohana means family

If you had told me two years ago that I would be happily working at a fire department in Midwest Missouri, I would have scoffed at you. And probably denounced our friendship. Why would I want to work for a Fire Department? I don’t want to put out fires.

Two years ago I was in Burbank, California. Living in a very cozy (read: tiny) apartment with a stranger that I found on Craigslist, and her two cats; working (though I’m not sure it could really be classified as anything more than slave labor) on the iconic Sunset Blvd in a small office building belonging to a small music publishing company who paid me sporadically (if I was lucky enough to get paid at all); eating ramen noodles and pb&j daily; and sleeping on a twin-sized air mattress— you could say I was living the dream!

California taught me a lot of things. It taught me how to do laundry, it taught me the basics of freeway driving (also known as a traffic jam), but most importantly, it revealed to me my basic desire for camaraderie. In California, I was lonely. That’s not to say I didn’t have friends, because I did. I had friends who were very good to me. But I just didn’t have that warm fuzzy feeling of camaraderie.

In October of 2012 I abandoned the life in California I was so sure I wanted in favor of moving back to the midwest. Beginning in January of 2013, I started working for my local, municipal government. To pay the bills (and to feed my giant puppy-love). As soon as I started in city hall, I was instantly drawn to the Fire Department.

Because everyone is drawn to good people. And everyone wants to belong. (And newsflash: Fire Departments basically run on camaraderie.)

I’ve met a lot of good people while working for our small, combination department, and my selfish heart is astonished to see the kind of people that walk through these doors. These are good, honest people with servant hearts. I hear a lot of people talking about how a each certain profession is the most self-sacrificing, but unless these people are firefighters, they are lying to you.

Whether they are reserve or career, firefighters are hands down the most self-sacrificing profession out there. And you would have no idea unless you are one, love one, or know one. And if you fall into one of the before mentioned categories, you’ve probably felt the ramifications of their sacrificing nature. Missed birthdays and holidays. Missed dinners and nights at home. Missed vacations. All in the name of public service. But, in my experience, I’ve found it’s hard to stay mad at someone over doing something so selfless.

Over my past year of working at the fire department I’ve learned a lot. I learned that the whole field is just a bunch of alphabet soup. And at this point, I know more acronyms than I care to admit (and I pretend to know more acronyms than I will ever admit).  I learned this importance of accuracy in all things. And, among the other, numberless, things that I learned, I learned that being a firefighter is less of a job, and more of a lifestyle. You don’t just chose to be a firefighter, you are called. You don’t just have “co-workers,” you have family members.

Firefighters truly care about one another, and about other people. They care an outrageous amount about people they don’t even know. I struggle to care about the people I do know, and these firefighters love people that they’ve never met before.

Yes, there is drama is the fire house, but there is drama in every family, right? But do you know what’s not always present in every family that is present in the fire house? Selflessness. No matter what drama may be going on, or how much “me, me, me” each person might be shouting behind closed doors, their basic nature is selfless, and they always come back to that.

Fire fighters are fiercely loyal, unfailingly kind, and incredibly hard-working (along with being quite the jovial, joking bunch). I’m not sure I’ve ever met a group quite like them. Each day I see my shortcomings more and more. I see my skewed priorities when I hear them talk about theirs. And just being around them makes me want to be a better person.

I’m sort of a work in progress, but at least I have a family to help me along the way.

I'm the one in the middle, in case you couldn't tell.
I’m the one in the middle, in case you couldn’t tell.

 

Posted in Everyday Happenings

Day 22: I look once more, just around the riverbend! (where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?)

Oh man. The future is a scary place. I still remember when it was so abstract. It was always something I was planning for, but what do I do now that it’s actually here? And now that I’m really planning for it? It’s scary, I tell you. It’s still pretty abstract to me. I like to dream about the future, but most of what I dream about is not even in the realm of reality. I like to think about an ideal future, so I’m never actually thinking about where I actually see myself in the future. I know where I want to be ideally, but I have a hard time picturing the reality of where I might be.

Who knows where I’ll be. I have so many scenarios in my head that I find it hard to even begin to predict where I’m going to be just next year, or even next month. Right now my life has so many question marks in it. There are so many variables that could have a major impact. Small things and choices that could take me from one path to a totally different one.

Predicting my future is like predicting an earthquake, you think you’ve got the pattern figured out, but really it’s a total surprise every single time. But here’s how I’m predicting my future today, but it could change tomorrow, or three minutes from now.

5 years from now. It will be 2017. I will be 28-years-old. 

What the heck? I thought 23 was old. 28 is older. That’s almost 30. I never picture myself that old. Somehow in my head I’m eternally like 21, looks like I’m going to have to marry a vampire (that’s a joke, just fyi, I’d never marry a vampire, a werewolf maybe, but never a vampire). By the time I’m 28 I hope to have a real career. In something that I love. Hopefully I’ll be taking pictures professionally. I hope to be on tour with a band by that time (Case two: or working for a football team as their team photographer, traveling with the team, still sort of like being on tour). I see myself traveling the world. Planes, trains and automobiles are definitely going to be a part of my life right now. If not for my career, then for some other reason. I may not be totally financially stable at this time, because I’m probably still going to think I’m a kid. Or maybe I will be? Perhaps I’ll be married, perhaps I’ll be engaged or dating someone seriously (perhaps in some kind of convent), who knows? Definitely no children at this point (unless I’ve managed to snag Zac Efron, or someone of that caliber of attractiveness, and I’m forced to reproduce as many times as possible to make the world a more beautiful place one baby at a time). I still plan on being the coolest aunt possible. Unless one of my siblings reproduces again, my youngest niece will be  6 and my oldest will be 16, with everyone else filling in the space. I definitely see them traveling with me.

10 years from now. It will be 2022. I will be 33-years-old.

I seriously hope to be married by this point in my life. I want to be a young bride, and I don’t want to have all these individual memories of my life. I want to have them with my husband, and 33 years is already a lot of individual memories. Hopefully he and I will be working together. He can do whatever he wants, but maybe he’ll be in a band (or case two scenario, maybe he’ll be a football player). Or I guess he can do something else, but depending on what his job is we might not be spending a lot of time together (and that would be very sad), because I still want to be on tour. So it would obviously be ideal if he was some kind of musician (or athlete), or at least did some kind of behind-the-scenes work (like me) too so that we could be on the road together. Though I still want to be on tour, and I definitely want to still be traveling the world (I’m always going to be traveling) I’d also like to have a home by this time. I for sure don’t want to be in LA anymore (at least not permanently, maybe working here sometimes). I want to own a beach house in North Carolina, even if it’s just a small one. Somewhere that is cozy and personal. And barring some kind of crazy stint of craziness, I’ll 100% financially stable by now.

15 years from now. It will 2027. I will be 38-years-old.

What? 38-years-old? What happened? 38 is almost 40! And 40 is over the hill. That is ridiculous. By this time I will either be married, or I will have checked myself into a nunnery. If I decide to have kids, I will probably already have had them. They’ll probably be toddlers at this point (and hopefully they’ll be boys). Which means that I’m not longer touring the world (unless I’m touring it with my husband as a full-time wife and possibly part-time photographer), and probably living in North Carolina, or at least somewhere in the south/midwest. If I’m going to raise kids, I want to raise them in that type of environment. Not in LA, or in DC, or NYC, I want to raise them somewhere where people are real, polite and safe. Hopefully I’ll have a bigger beach house. I’d like to be wealthy by this point. Not disgustingly wealthy, but comfortably wealthy. Where I can live comfortably and also take care of the other people in my life. I want to still be taking pictures, but maybe not in such a dedicated manner. Like, maybe just for special events. Hopefully I will have made such an impact in the world of photography that my name will be recognizable and people will seek me out to cover things for them. Like maybe just certain concerts (or games), and things like award shows (or the Superbowl). I just want to be settled and comfortable in life by this point.