Posts Tagged With: John Mayer

Same old story, not much to say. Hearts are broken every day.

Sad seasons in life (broken hearts) sometimes align with sad seasons in nature (winter).

Sometimes people let you believe that they love you, never actually correcting you or telling you otherwise, they just go on not loving you. While you stand by idly. Trusting their heart. Surrendering your heart over to them. Living in an illusion.

And then, instead of fighting for your heart when the moment arises, they just walk away. And you sit at home. And cry. Alternating between listening to sad songs and binge watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix (or on DVD when Netflix also betrays you). While you eat unhealthy amounts pizza and puppy chow. Because that is what numbs the pain.

People tell you that it gets better. That you deserved better. But thostirede aren’t the people who just watched their futures go from happily ever
after to lonely cat-lady.

All it does is reopen the wounds when you talk about it to new people and have to explain all the nuances of your lost relationship. And your friends, your real friends, the ones who know everything and love you anyway, they are tired of hearing about Adr-eh-um-him. They are tired of hearing about him. So you fake it. Fake it until you make it, right?

And so you pretend to be okay. Because it’s exhausting being sad all the time. And sometimes you are okay; because life is full of distractions. And sometimes you go back. Even after you said you wouldn’t. “For real this time,” you said. But you’re in love. And you can’t help it. So you go back every time thinking things will be different. One day hopefully it will be. Or one day you’ll fully heal. But truth be told, I don’t want to just heal, I want him. But I guess I would settle for either.

And then you make a playlist. And then you blog about it. Because your word vomit has to go somewhere. And Lord knows that boy doesn’t want to hear it.

  1. All I Ask – Adele – 25
    “No one knows me like you do. And since you’re the only one that matters, tell me who do I run to?”
  2. Me, Myself, and I – Hanson – Shout It Out
    “I don’t wanna get used to ‘it’s over’ but we’ve already said too much to make it new.”
  3. All Too Well – Taylor Swift – Red
    “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it.”
  4. When I Was Your Man – Bruno Mars – Unorthodox Jukebox
    “Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now. Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same.”
  5. California Rain – Betty Who – Take Me When You Go
    “We won’t build a home, you won’t buy flowers every Monday.Or call on my birthday. I’m not the first & I won’t be the last to love you.”
  6. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room – John Mayer – Continuum
    “I was the one you always dreamed of, you were the one I tried to draw. How dare you say it’s nothing to me? Baby, you’re the only light I ever saw.”
  7. Silhouette – Owl City – The Midsummer Station
    “I’m new to this grief I can’t explain. But I’m no stranger to the heartache and the pain.”
  8. Hurricane – Parachute – Overnight
    “I’m standing in the pouring rain, I feel it like a hurricane. A photograph is all it takes, but I know I shouldn’t let it.”
  9. Unfair – Kate Voegele – A Fine Mess
    “Cause those who get to know our hearts the most, they always seem to be the ones we’ll never hold.”
  10. Dreaming with a Broken Heart – John Mayer – Continuum
    “When you’re dreaming with a broken hear the waking up is the hardest part. You fall outta bed, and down on your knees, and for a moment you can hardly breathe.”
  11. Sunburn – Ed Sheeran – +
    “If you cut deep then I might learn. If you scar and leave me like a sunburn.”
  12. You Were Meant for Me – Jewel – Pieces of You
    “Same old story, not much to say. Hearts are broken everyday.”
  13. Sad Beautiful Tragic – Taylor Swift – Red
    “And time is taking its sweet time erasing you. And you’ve got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me.”
  14. Say You Love Me – Jessica Ware – Tough Love
    “Cause I don’t wanna fall in love if you don’t wanna try. But all that I’ve been thinking of is maybe that you might.”
  15. Sooner Surrender – Matt Nathanson – Modern Love
    “I’d sooner surrender, than watch the last wall collapse. I’d sooner surrender and our love will count for everything. And I miss when you were everything.”
  16. Was I the Only One – Jordin Sparks – Battlefield
    “I don’t understand how I can feel this pain, and still be alive. All these broken dreams and all these memories are killing me inside.”
  17. The Heart Wants What it Wants – Selena Gomez
    “Save your advice cause I won’t hear. You might be right but I don’t care. There’s a million reasons why I should give you up, but…”
  18. Not in Love – Olin & The Moon – Footsteps
    “Because you’re not in love. There’s no way you possibly could. You shouldn’t even like this, you just like the way it looks.”
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Categories: Playlists, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Moment I Knew

So recently I have been “talking” to this boy (who will remain nameless for his own protection). Which, in and of itself is a problem (for obvious reasons..I mean, I am 25-years-old). Mostly because when I say recently, I mean off and on for like a year. It’s not that I am 100% against “talking,” but when you can’t nail something down in a YEARS time, I think it’s time to move on. Be friends, don’t be friends, but definitely stop “talking.” Because prolonged “talking” is the hardest part of a relationship. “Talking” is when we are more concerned with who has the upper hand than actually attempting to fall in love. “Talking” causes more insecurities than are already present in everything but the most committed of relationships. “Talking” is the worst.

So please, take my advice.worth

You are worth more. I’m not just talking to girls here. Guys, you are worth more. Each of us, God-made human beings are worth more than “talking.” You are worth spending time with. You are worth phone calls. You are worth the most inconsequential of text messages, or Snapchats. You are worth reassuring. You are worth commitment. You are worth being made a priority. You are worth showing off, and meeting their friends and their family. You are worth bike rides, and road trips. You are worth day trips to the zoo, and museums. You are worth homemade dinners, and nights watching Netflix. You are worth so much more than you realize, and if the person you’re “talking” to doesn’t realize that, that is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault, but that doesn’t make it okay.

It will be hard, but you have to re-evaluate.

I tried every way in the world to convince someone that I was worth it, but you should never have to convince someone of your worth. And the moment I realized he wasn’t getting it, I made this play list. (Sorry for the Debbie-Dower post, but I had to make a public declaration, or I will fall into the same old cycle.)

1. The Moment I Knew — Taylor Swift  Red

“What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show?”

2. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye — John Mayer  Battle Studies

“I love you more than songs can say, but I can’t keep running after yesterday.”

3. One Too Many — Bryan Greenberg  We Don’t Have Forever

“Ok, I’m here. I’m ready to talk. Sacred to hear my own voice. Try to listen to my broken heart. Drown out the noise.”

4. Forever and Almost Always — Kate Voegele  A Fine Mess

“You’ll be mine forever and almost always. It ain’t right to just love me when you can. I won’t wait patiently or wake up everyday just hoping that you’ll still care.”

5. The Hardest Part — Coldplay  X & Y

“And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart.”

6. World of Chances — Demi Lovato  Here We Go Again

“Maybe you’ll call me someday. Hear the operator say the number’s no good, and that she had a world of chances for you.”

7. Sooner Than Later — Drake  So Far Gone

“I forgot to call to you on your birthday. You swear you’re the last thing on my mind. There is nothing I can do to fix it,  all you ever asked me for was time.”

8. My Myself and I — Hanson  Shout It Out

“I’m not gonna try to forget. Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end?”

9. Hurricane — Parachute  Overnight

“Oh I knew, that even if I kept you in the dark it would never do, because it only takes a spark.”

10. White Horse — Taylor Swift  Fearless

“I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.”

11. It’s Beginning To Get To Me — Snow Patrol  Eyes Open

“And it’s beginning to get to me, that I know more of the stars and sea, than I do of what’s in your head.”

12. Beg You To Fall — Kate Voegele Gravity Happens

“And I don’t wanna stand here and beg you to fall. ‘Cause one day you’ll see, I was worth it all.”

13. Kept — Matt Nathanson  Modern Love

“And I should have kept my hands; I should have kept my arms inside. I believe it now. I should have kept my head. I should have kept my heart, my heart.”

14. I Almost Do — Taylor Swift  Red

“And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do.”

15. Make You Feel My Love — Adele  19

“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, 

I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”

Listen to the playlist here.

Categories: Everyday Happenings, Playlists | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Late July

It’s late July and I haven’t posted in roughly two months. Mostly because I live a fairly uneventful life, partly because I can’t really seem to post a blog that doesn’t allude to things that are going on in my life that I probably don’t exactly want to become mainstream information…and also because I’ve recently been too lazy to write a blog.

Anyway, this one is just here to remind you that I’m still here 🙂

Here’s my current playlist, take from it what you will about my life (because I know you will).

1. I Can’t Lie – Maroon 5 Hands All Over

“I can’t lie, you’re on my mind, stuck inside my head. I wanna feel your heart beat for me instead.”

2. She’s Got A Way – Billy Joel Cold Spring Harbor

“She’s got a light around her, and everywhere she goes a million dreams of love surround her.”

3. Impatient Girl – Kate Voegele Gravity Happens

“Oh, I ain’t built like this. The way you’re taking your time has got me jumpin’ ship.
And I won’t lie, let’s call this what it is, an impatient girl waiting on an empty wish.”

4. Under Control – Parachute Losing Sleep

“So darling please forgive me, I want you and you’ll just have to know.”

5. Sooner or Later – Michelle Branch Everything Comes and Goes

“Sooner or later, you’re gonna come around. And you’ll be sorry, when you figure out, that I was always everything that you needed. Sooner or later, you’re gonna wish you had me. ”

6. Halo – Bethany Joy Lenz One Tree Hill, Vol.2

“One thing is clear, I wear a halo. I wear a halo when you look at me.”

7. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye – John Mayer Battle Studies

“Just when I had you off my head, your voice comes thrashing wildly through my quiet bed. You say you wanna try again, but I’ve tried everything but giving in.”

8. I Knew You Were Trouble. – Taylor Swift Red

“And he’s long gone when he’s next to me. And I realize the blame is on me.”

9. My Love – Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveSounds

“Because I could see us holding hands. Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand. I could see us on the countryside sittin’ on the grass, layin’ side by side.”

10. Cut Right Through Me – Hanson Anthem

“I say a word and I’ve said too much.”

11.  Catch Me – Demi Lovato Here We Go Again.

“I can’t set my hopes too high ’cause every hello ends with a goodbye.”

12.  You Can Run – Bryan Greenberg (Feat. Kid Cudi) We Don’t Have Forever

“You try to forget about me, but I told you to never doubt me. How’s your life right now without me?”

13. Sparks Fly– Taylor Swift Speak Now

“You’re the kind of reckless that should send me runnin’, but I kinda know that I won’t get far.”

14. Cups – Anna Kendrick  Pitch Perfect Soundtrack

“When I’m gone, when I’m gone, you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone. You’re gonna miss me by my walk, you’re gonna miss me by my talk, oh you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”

15.  Modern Love  – Matt Nathanson Modern Love

“Take the phone calls, take this circus. Take the drama, cause baby it’s just worthless.”

16.  Do You Think Abou Me – Carrie Underwood Blown Away

‘Do you think about me, like I think about you?”

17.  Goodnight and Go – Imogen Heap Speak For Yourself

“Skipping beats, blushing cheeks. I am struggling.”

18. Wanted You More – Lady Antebellum Own The Night

“My heart was open, exposed and hoping for you to lay it on the line. In the end it seemed there was no room for me. Still, I tried to change your mind.”

19. Layla – Eric Clapton Cream of Clapton

“Like a fool, I fell in love with you, turned my whole world upside down.”

20.  Come Back..Be Here – Taylor Swift Red

“I told myself don’t get attached, but in my mind I play it back. Spinning faster than the plane that took you.”

21. Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon Everything You Want

“There’s always another wound to discover. There’s always something more you wish he’d say.”

22.  From My Head To My Heart – Evan and Jaron Evan and Jaron

“I feel the distance standing here next to you. I don’t want to keep you waiting but I’ve been waiting too.”

23. Free Fallin’– Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Full Moon Fever

“She’s a good girl, loves her mama. Loves Jesus and America too. ”

Listen to the complete playlist here.

Categories: Music, Playlists | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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