So recently I have been “talking” to this boy (who will remain nameless for his own protection). Which, in and of itself is a problem (for obvious reasons..I mean, I am 25-years-old). Mostly because when I say recently, I mean off and on for like a year. It’s not that I am 100% against “talking,” but when you can’t nail something down in a YEARS time, I think it’s time to move on. Be friends, don’t be friends, but definitely stop “talking.” Because prolonged “talking” is the hardest part of a relationship. “Talking” is when we are more concerned with who has the upper hand than actually attempting to fall in love. “Talking” causes more insecurities than are already present in everything but the most committed of relationships. “Talking” is the worst.
You are worth more. I’m not just talking to girls here. Guys, you are worth more. Each of us, God-made human beings are worth more than “talking.” You are worth spending time with. You are worth phone calls. You are worth the most inconsequential of text messages, or Snapchats. You are worth reassuring. You are worth commitment. You are worth being made a priority. You are worth showing off, and meeting their friends and their family. You are worth bike rides, and road trips. You are worth day trips to the zoo, and museums. You are worth homemade dinners, and nights watching Netflix. You are worth so much more than you realize, and if the person you’re “talking” to doesn’t realize that, that is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault, but that doesn’t make it okay.
It will be hard, but you have to re-evaluate.
I tried every way in the world to convince someone that I was worth it, but you should never have to convince someone of your worth. And the moment I realized he wasn’t getting it, I made this play list. (Sorry for the Debbie-Dower post, but I had to make a public declaration, or I will fall into the same old cycle.)
1. The Moment I Knew — Taylor Swift Red
“What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show?”
2. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye — John Mayer Battle Studies
“I love you more than songs can say, but I can’t keep running after yesterday.”
3. One Too Many — Bryan Greenberg We Don’t Have Forever
“Ok, I’m here. I’m ready to talk. Sacred to hear my own voice. Try to listen to my broken heart. Drown out the noise.”
4. Forever and Almost Always — Kate Voegele A Fine Mess
“You’ll be mine forever and almost always. It ain’t right to just love me when you can. I won’t wait patiently or wake up everyday just hoping that you’ll still care.”
5. The Hardest Part — Coldplay X & Y
“And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart.”
6. World of Chances — Demi Lovato Here We Go Again
“Maybe you’ll call me someday. Hear the operator say the number’s no good, and that she had a world of chances for you.”
7. Sooner Than Later — Drake So Far Gone
“I forgot to call to you on your birthday. You swear you’re the last thing on my mind. There is nothing I can do to fix it, all you ever asked me for was time.”
8. My Myself and I — Hanson Shout It Out
“I’m not gonna try to forget. Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end?”
9. Hurricane — Parachute Overnight
“Oh I knew, that even if I kept you in the dark it would never do, because it only takes a spark.”
10. White Horse — Taylor Swift Fearless
“I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.”
11. It’s Beginning To Get To Me — Snow Patrol Eyes Open
“And it’s beginning to get to me, that I know more of the stars and sea, than I do of what’s in your head.”
12. Beg You To Fall — Kate Voegele Gravity Happens
“And I don’t wanna stand here and beg you to fall. ‘Cause one day you’ll see, I was worth it all.”
13. Kept — Matt Nathanson Modern Love
“And I should have kept my hands; I should have kept my arms inside. I believe it now. I should have kept my head. I should have kept my heart, my heart.”
14. I Almost Do — Taylor Swift Red
“And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do.”
15. Make You Feel My Love — Adele 19
“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”
Listen to the playlist here.