Posts Tagged With: dating

The Moment I Knew

So recently I have been “talking” to this boy (who will remain nameless for his own protection). Which, in and of itself is a problem (for obvious reasons..I mean, I am 25-years-old). Mostly because when I say recently, I mean off and on for like a year. It’s not that I am 100% against “talking,” but when you can’t nail something down in a YEARS time, I think it’s time to move on. Be friends, don’t be friends, but definitely stop “talking.” Because prolonged “talking” is the hardest part of a relationship. “Talking” is when we are more concerned with who has the upper hand than actually attempting to fall in love. “Talking” causes more insecurities than are already present in everything but the most committed of relationships. “Talking” is the worst.

So please, take my advice.worth

You are worth more. I’m not just talking to girls here. Guys, you are worth more. Each of us, God-made human beings are worth more than “talking.” You are worth spending time with. You are worth phone calls. You are worth the most inconsequential of text messages, or Snapchats. You are worth reassuring. You are worth commitment. You are worth being made a priority. You are worth showing off, and meeting their friends and their family. You are worth bike rides, and road trips. You are worth day trips to the zoo, and museums. You are worth homemade dinners, and nights watching Netflix. You are worth so much more than you realize, and if the person you’re “talking” to doesn’t realize that, that is not your fault. It may not be anyone’s fault, but that doesn’t make it okay.

It will be hard, but you have to re-evaluate.

I tried every way in the world to convince someone that I was worth it, but you should never have to convince someone of your worth. And the moment I realized he wasn’t getting it, I made this play list. (Sorry for the Debbie-Dower post, but I had to make a public declaration, or I will fall into the same old cycle.)

1. The Moment I Knew — Taylor Swift  Red

“What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show?”

2. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye — John Mayer  Battle Studies

“I love you more than songs can say, but I can’t keep running after yesterday.”

3. One Too Many — Bryan Greenberg  We Don’t Have Forever

“Ok, I’m here. I’m ready to talk. Sacred to hear my own voice. Try to listen to my broken heart. Drown out the noise.”

4. Forever and Almost Always — Kate Voegele  A Fine Mess

“You’ll be mine forever and almost always. It ain’t right to just love me when you can. I won’t wait patiently or wake up everyday just hoping that you’ll still care.”

5. The Hardest Part — Coldplay  X & Y

“And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart.”

6. World of Chances — Demi Lovato  Here We Go Again

“Maybe you’ll call me someday. Hear the operator say the number’s no good, and that she had a world of chances for you.”

7. Sooner Than Later — Drake  So Far Gone

“I forgot to call to you on your birthday. You swear you’re the last thing on my mind. There is nothing I can do to fix it,  all you ever asked me for was time.”

8. My Myself and I — Hanson  Shout It Out

“I’m not gonna try to forget. Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end?”

9. Hurricane — Parachute  Overnight

“Oh I knew, that even if I kept you in the dark it would never do, because it only takes a spark.”

10. White Horse — Taylor Swift  Fearless

“I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.”

11. It’s Beginning To Get To Me — Snow Patrol  Eyes Open

“And it’s beginning to get to me, that I know more of the stars and sea, than I do of what’s in your head.”

12. Beg You To Fall — Kate Voegele Gravity Happens

“And I don’t wanna stand here and beg you to fall. ‘Cause one day you’ll see, I was worth it all.”

13. Kept — Matt Nathanson  Modern Love

“And I should have kept my hands; I should have kept my arms inside. I believe it now. I should have kept my head. I should have kept my heart, my heart.”

14. I Almost Do — Taylor Swift  Red

“And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do.”

15. Make You Feel My Love — Adele  19

“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, 

I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”

Listen to the playlist here.

Categories: Everyday Happenings, Playlists | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pet names

There are three reasons I will allow a male to call me by a pet name:

1. We are related. I figure if you share my blood and/or have had to tolerate me my whole life, you have earned the right to call me whatever you want. (“adopted” families included!)

2. We are dating. Like seriously dating, not just “hanging out.”

3. You are elderly.

(Also, I’d probably make an exception for those people I’m obsessed with. If Josh Hutcherson walked up and called me babe, I’d probably be okay with that.)

If you don’t fall under one of these categories, please do not refer to me as babe, honey, sweetheart, darlin’, baby or anything along those lines. I have a name. And if you can’t take time to learn my name, then you probably don’t deserve my time anyway. And if you do know my name and you just don’t care enough to call me by it, then I don’t really care enough to respond.

I don’t really consider myself a feminist, but I just feel like it’s so condescending when a guy calls me babe (just using that one as an example because to me it’s the most offensive one and it’s also the one I hear most often). It’s like he thinks it gives him some sort of power over me (which it doesn’t, all it manages to do is make me mad). I don’t know if that’s just me and I’m being overly defensive about it, but I just don’t appreciate it. I think part of what makes me feel that it’s condescending comes from that fact that they are called “pet names.” You are the master of your pet, so I feel like when you refer to someone with a pet name, then you are subconsciously (or for some it may be conscious decision) saying that you are their master. And for some reason our society has decided that it’s okay for men to refer to women with pet names, but then it would be weird if a woman did the same thing. I don’t like the double standard.  I don’t walk around calling you babe, what makes you think it’s okay for you to do that to me?

And some guys think it makes them charming to refer to girls as babe or baby. And maybe that works on some girls, but they are probably not the girls you’re going to want to take home to mom. And you, guy-who-does-this, are not the kind of guy I want to take home to my family. In fact, if you refer to me as babe (without meeting one of the above mentioned criteria) then I will probably file you under sleazy in my brain. And then you will have dug yourself a hole that you will spend forever trying to climb out of.

And I know I’m being general here and stereotyping, but I’ve just had some situations where this has occured recently and it’s been bugging me.

Pet names are only okay when they come out of a place of real affection, if used under any other circumstance they get tainted.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Categories: Everyday Happenings, Uncategorized | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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